Tying the Second Knot -- Interim Updates --11 weeks out

Most of the broad aspects of the happy couple's wedding day (third week in May) are starting to take shape for our favorite bride to be. Big decisions have been made....and now it is time to start making decisions on more of the "fine tuning" details.

The photo shows a view of the restaurant where both the ceremony and reception will happen. MrMartha thinks the deep ochre walls will be a stunning contrast to the ivory of the brides gown, and will make carefully chosen flowers really pop.

MrMartha has suggested some of the art on the long wall be removed and replaced with large central focal point (perhaps a "wall corsage" of curly willow with floral accents). Whatever materials are used for that focal point will be restated as additional decorations attached to the beams above and also in the area where the actual ceremony will happen.

The goal is not to transform the restaurant, but to enhance it....to make a space that is very familiar to the wedding couple into something just a bit more memorable, and special, for their big day.

The restaurant itself is very informal, so MrMartha has suggested that the bride may want to select and provide her own choice of table linens and napkins to make the space a bit more formal for the event.

The tables are smallish, which means there is no need for large centerpieces, and whatever the overall floral decorations will be, they will likely be limited to one or two different types of blooms, in a monotone palette, but used en masse.

ReadMore for the current status of details and decisions about: The Bride and her attendents, the invitations, and the venue.

The bride and her attendants:
As noted in the previous post, the bride has chosen her dress and is selecting accessories that will match and complement her choice -- whether to wear some sort of headpiece, gloves, etc.

The bride has decided not to have designated attendants, as far as maid or matron of honor, etc. The groom to be's young grand daughter may be designated an informal flowergirl.

At first, the bride was unsure about whether to ask her father to walk her down the aisle, whether that might seen too archaic -- MrMartha advised that it would be both perfectly appropriate and absolutely charming -- so the current plan will be for the bride to be escorted about half way by both her father, and her stepmother, and then she will walk the rest of the way on her own. MrMartha thinks there is a lovely symbolism there, including the family members, and her own independence. Nobody, however, will be 'giving the bride away'.

The Invitations:
The bride and groom have already utilized the ubiquitous Evite to send out a 'Save the Date' message to their wedding guests.

While sending out the actual invites to the ceremony and reception by email would be HIGHLY FROWNED UPON by MrMartha, it is a perfectly acceptable way to give the guests a little advance notice.

The couple is still making final decisions on the wording and the style of the invitations....but will need to finalize that within a week, to get them ordered, then have time to get them addressed without rushing, in order to get them into the mail sometime between Easter and TaxDay.

The Venue:
As noted above, a favorite restaurant of the nuptial couple has been engaged for the event. The ceremony will happen in the very late afternoon/early evening, with a cocktail buffet reception following.

The restaurant has a definite and somewhat quirky look -- with a strong personality in the decor.
Choosing an established restaurant versus a more neutral space -- like a hall or hotel banquet room -- has both benefits and limitations. It is easier to put an imprint on a more generic space, but there are definitely ways to personalize an established restaurant space.

MrMartha is currently helping the bride determine how to do just that....what the layout should be for both the ceremony and the reception...where in the space the ceremony should happen, etc. As well as decorations, flowers, and the rest of the big picture.

From there, still to be determined will be the smaller details like guestbook, favors, specific menu choices, cake.....(whew, MrMartha is getting a bit lightheaded just typing all that....but it will all come together and happen beautifully!

Read More...

Summary only...

Tying the Second Knot...planning update: The Bride's Gown

MrMartha has been working with the bride to be -- regarding the plans, choices, and logistics for her upcoming nuptials, many aspects are starting to take shape.

The location and date have now been determined. The ceremony and the reception will be held at a charming small restaurant with a lot of built in charm, and the guest list will number around 60 or so.

We are currently planning the overall look and style of the event, including decorations, flowers and table considerations. Additional, smaller details -- like guest book, favors for guests, the brides accessories, attendants, and a myriad of other considerations, are being discussed as well. MrMartha will continue to update and report as decisions are made. Currently, the focus is on invitations, which need to be ordered soon, and sent out several weeks in advance of the ceremony.

The big news is, that the bride has selected her gown for the ceremony -- and it is just about as different as it possibly could be -- from what was worn at her first wedding in the mid eighties. The photo above shows how radiant a bride she was the first time around....while her posse of admirers were taking fashion cues from Miami Vice and the Preppy Handbook....(Don't fault MrMartha, who was a fan of bow ties at the time!)

What was an appropriate gown for a girl in her early twenties, getting married in a tiny country church, with a garden reception following, is worlds away from the sophisticated woman that she has become.

Read More to learn details about her new gown choice, and how the rest of the ceremony and reception will take their cues from the detailing on her gorgeous and fashion forward selection.

Spoiler Alert: If you know the bride, or expect to attend the wedding -- and want to be surprised by her gown, please dont expand this post! This means you, Mr Bridegroom.

The bride's first wedding gown actually managed to sidestep a lot of the excess of the "Dynasty" eighties. It was charming and relatively simple, compared to the huge lace and pearl encrusted meringues that dominated bridal fashions of the time, however, it still had a lot of details that were very much of the post "Princess Diana" era -- A fitted bodice with lace overlay, puffed sleeves, and a full skirt -- were all trends of the time.

Please note, to preserve the surprise of the bride's gown, the full length image shows a similar design, which caputures the feeling of the garment overall. The detail photo is from the actual gown.

Her new gown is a dramatic long sheath, with draping along the bodice at both the front and back, closely fitted through the mid section, and a narrow but not hobbled skirt, with a slight train at the back.
The ivory tone fabric has a lot of liquid movement, and will be perfect for a late afternoon ceremony and early evening reception.

The shoulder straps are net, heavily embroidered with crystals and pearls, which also runs along the bust peeking from under the draping.
There is a wonderful contrast between the simplicity of the gown overall, and the elaborate shoulder details.

The bride will not wear a traditional veil, but is considering a variety of 'low key' headpiece options. Her bouquet will likely be very simple and architectural -- again a big contrast to the bursting cushion of flowers that comprised her first bouquet.

The current discussion is to use the idea of the beaded detailing of the gown as a point of departure -- for the decorations and look of the ceremony, and also to restate the crystal and ivory theme in other aspects, like the corsages, boutonnieres, and table centerpieces.

Read More...

Summary only...

Ask MrMartha...Some Wedding Conundrums

Dear MrMartha,
I enjoyed your post of the vintage wedding gown sketch. I have my own wedding coming up later this year, and am thinking about a vintage wedding gown. Do you have any suggestions in that regard? Also, my fiance and I have been having some issues about grooms and ushers attire....how do we understand the options? Is it true that tuxedos should never be worn for a daytime wedding? Thanks for any suggestions.

Dear Reader,
MrMartha congratulates you on your upcoming nuptials, and wishes you a wonderful day, which will, of course, run smoothly as a result of your careful advance planning!

A vintage wedding gown is such a charming idea.....the thought of wearing mother's or grandmother's gown on your own special day is a dear and precious tradition. Often however, the realities of style and sizing -- not to mention how the gown was stored, its condition and level of fragility, can get in the way of that lovely dream. Buying a vintage gown that has no family connection can also be a solution, or be fraught with peril....

MrMartha has some good suggestions for you about gown options in the expanded post, but first some quick notes on dressing your groom.

Wedding attire in general, and especially what the groom and groomsmen wear, has gained a lot more latitude in recent years. In the strictest sense, men should never wear tuxedos before five in the afternoon, but then men should also never wear a wristwatch with a tux....so the rules are indeed tough to enforce!

Traditionally, for a formal daytime wedding, Cutaway coat with striped pants would be worn, and a dark business suit for less formal ceremony. Unless you are marrying royalty (in which case, Congratulations!!) it is unlikely that you will get the gentlemen of the wedding party to wear, what are somewhat demurely referred to, as Morning Suits. It's also likely you may see a basic business suit as not special enough for the occasion. MrMartha sees no problem with your groom and groomsmen wearing simple black tuxedos with understated shirts and basic accessories, especially for a wedding that is after, say, two o'clock, or if the reception will continue past five.

Things to stay away from -- very formal tuxes for a morning wedding (they would look like waiters at a fancy brunch) -- and sherbet colored tuxes with over the top accessories (unless the groomsmen will also be performing as a 70's cover band during the reception.)
For some really amazing information about men's formal wear -- the history, options, the rules (plus how to break them) and some really fun illustrations....check out BlackTieGuide.com.

Read More for additional information and some wonderful suggestions on Vintage Wedding Gowns and the alternatives.

The concerns with Vintage Wedding gowns are condition and fit. MrMartha understands that in general, gowns prior to 1960's vintage tend to be short waisted, tighter in the arms and shoulders, and often just too short for the modern woman's body.

Alterations can be done by a skilled seamstress, depending on the style of the dress. It is much easier to take in a dress that is too large, than to let seams out. Also, there may be visible difference in how the fabric has aged between the exposed portion of the dress and the inner seams. The evidence of the original seams themselves may be impossible to eradicate.

If it is a family gown that you have your heart set on, or a vintage dress you have already identified and fallen in love with because of its design or the lace or trims used, or if there is just a general style or era you have a fondness for, there are still options.

The best solution is likely to have a new dress made in vintage style by a good seamstress. A pattern can be taken from an existing dress, and if the dress is not a family heirloom, the original can be taken apart and the vintage lace and trims reused. Another good option is to find a design you love in a vintage sewing pattern, and have the dress made for you from that. That really gives you the best of all worlds....the vintage design (altered and adjusted as necessary for perfect fit), the ability to choose your fabric and trims (or reuse vintage lace), the security of knowledge that the dress is not overly delicate or of questionable sturdiness due to age (you don't want the arms to shred as you toss the bouquet), and the ability to have just EXACTLY the gown you want. MrMartha knows you will be a beautiful bride, whatever you choose.

A wonderful vintage pattern service, specializing in bridal and formal patterns can be found HERE.

Read More...

Summary only...